First, I believe that each child has the right to the healthiest relationship possible with both parents. Sometimes that entails negotiating for more integrated parenting, sometimes it means negotiating how to make limited parenting time work in the best interest of the child.
After the emotional traumas and stresses of divorce and custody litigation it is often very difficult to amicably work with the other parent, even when your child’s best interest is at stake. Behaviors before and during the breakup can often effect one parents perceptions of how well the other can parent.
I work from the “Getting to Yes” perspective. We start with what both parties agree on and work outward from there. This can often provide a good foundation to start to rebuild trust and communication.
What we are feeling matters. However, for our children’s sake it is important to learn how to set workable boundaries, limits, and understandings, in the hope of being able to be flexible when it is in the child’s best interest.
My extensive training in family mediation, as well as my grounded approach has helped many parents work through the process of renegotiating the boundaries of their co-parenting relationship.